uhohspinellio

Nick and I are looking at houses this afternoon! We saw one particular place when we were driving down Spruce Street one day, looking for a different house that we saw listed online, and we both fell in love with it, at least from the outside. We decided to do some research and found out that it is also for sale, right within our budget. It’s oil heat (not exactly our ideal) but it’s got central air so it would be easy enough to install a heat pump and bypass the whole oil issue. It’s considerably larger than the apartment we’ve been living in and has a really nice yard. It also happens to be within walking distance of my work, so that’s a major plus. Since our lease is almost up on the apartment, it’s about time to make a decision. Hopefully it’s as nice inside as it appears to be!

[Update: it wasn’t. The house needs a fair amount of work, and it turns out that the current owner is a crazy drunken “artist” who painted unattractive murals on everything, and also smokes like a chimney inside the house. She also spent the entire time groping our real estate agent. Buuuut a lot of the changes are cosmetic and it would be a phenomenal investment if we were willing to put a few years of updating and redecorating into it, and the noncosmetic changes would also add a lot of value to the cost of the place, so it’s still on the list of possibilities. Either way, it was really exciting to be able to finally meet our real estate agent and get some more hands-on experience with this process. So far, I usually have to work whenever Nick meets with him, so these were the first viewings that I’ve been able to attend.]

I’ve decided not to weigh in for a couple of days. As nice as it is to see the scale budge down bit by bit each day, all it takes is one day of no loss or slight gain to embitter me entirely against the healthy-eating weight loss process. On that note, I’ve been eating alright today: shredded wheat for breakfast, turkey pita for lunch, a couple of slices of salami (Bad Sarah! BAD!) that I really shouldn’t have eaten, and the possibility of Chinese buffet for dinner. Gotta watch myself there, but I’m pretty sure that I can make the right choices; they have some nice chicken and broccoli dishes that I like a lot. The only truly hard part will be avoiding the deepfried spring rolls, which I love, and limiting the chewy bite-sized macaroons on the desert buffet, which just so happen to be my all-time favorite. I go back to work tomorrow (dammit), but the good part about that is that I won’t have the all-day temptation of munching. Sigh.

[Update: I did alright. I didn’t have any spring rolls, and I allowed myself one of the macaroons, but since they are bite-sized and I really wanted to eat 6 of them, I did pretty well. I still kept my intake around 1000 calories for the day, so all is not lost. Oh, and I stocked up on spiced wafers, since they’re sold seasonally and I can only find one place around here that still has them. They’re not exactly healthy, but they’re a lot healthier than most “junk” food and I can make a box last about a month.]

Also, TMI but I should be getting my period soon, so hopefully my urge to binge will pass soon too.

It’s been a boring but wonderfully relaxing day. I can’t remember the last time I had 2 days off in a row, let alone 3, and I’ve been making the “most” of it…okay, not really. I took the dog out for a walk today and spent most of the morning and afternoon just lounging around. Nick and I are hoping to go look at a couple of houses tomorrow, now that we’re in the market. And that’s pretty much all the excitement I’ve been having since I went out the other night. It’s pathetic and kickass at the same time.

I had an apple and some shredded wheat for breakfast (I like the honey nut kind because I can eat it without milk and it doesn’t taste bland, but it’s still pretty low in calories), some light soup and a wheat pita with turkey and lettuce for lunch, and a couple of low-fat gingersnaps for a snack. Dinner hasn’t come around yet but so far I’ve had a decent intake so hopefully I don’t go and fuck it up. I know yesterday’s intake was dismal, and I’ve decided not to weigh-in for a couple of days because I’m afraid that the results will depress me and put me off my diet.

I’ve recently realized that I desperately need to increase the amount of water that I drink. I do drink some, and sometimes I have tea and that helps, too, but I really need to start having less diet soda and more H2O. I used to drink an almost unnatural quantity of the clear stuff, but recently I’ve lapsed. Maybe I’ll start carrying my Nalgene bottle again, or get some of those Crystal Light packets to make it more appealing (the Pomegranate Cherry kind, which supposedly boosts your immunity or something, is absolutely delicious). I’m not going to lie and say that I’ll stop drinking diet soda, though. Honestly, if I had to choose one junk food and spend the rest of my life eating nothing but vegetables, I’d choose Diet Sunkist in a heartbeat. It’s an odd obsession and not a particularly healthy one, but at least it’s not high in calories.

Also, it’s 4:20. Is it strange that I haven’t smoked pot more than a couple times in the past year (unlike the 5 years before that, when I smoked…well, a ton) and I still take note whenever the clock hits those numbers? XD

I read about the “ZigZag Diet” in someone’s blog today. The idea is that you keep your metabolism on its toes by fluctuating your intake throughout the week. For “extreme” fat loss, I should be fluctuating between 1120 and 1456 calories, which actually seems a tiny bit high to me for causing “extreme” loss, but the person who made the site says that she institutes a limit on the lower calorie days so I guess that makes sense. Turns out, it’s something I used to do when I was dealing with my eating disorder approximately 150 years ago, but I didn’t know there was an “official” name for it. And yes, it works, as long as you’re healthy about it (it works if you’re not healthy about it, too, but the side effects are pretty terrible and my days of self-induced passing out are over). I think this diet is a really good tool to use as long as you don’t go overboard with it, but I’m just not quite that exacting when it comes to my intake anymore. I’d rather shoot for 1000-1200 calories a day (and have a higher day here and there, which I guess is the same thing but less structured) than say that I have to get exactly this amount on Wednesdays and exactly that amount on Fridays yadda yadda yadda. Basically, I am a fairly obsessive person, so I’ve found that when I am too precise I start to limit myself to an unhealthy degree. And since I don’t entirely trust myself to stick to those numbers rather than strive for something considerably lower, I’d rather lose the weight slowly than fuck up my body and mind again.

First of all, since I haven’t had a chance to post in a few days (it’s been insanely busy at work), I’d just like to make my feelings on the most recent election perfectly clear: THANK GOD THAT BARACK OBAMA WAS ELECTED! Thank Jesus, Moses, Allah, Vishnu, Mother Earth, that shiny thing your dog found in the back yard that he now worships as a deity…thank whatever the hell you want, just get to thankin’. Come to think of it, you don’t have to. I’ll do it for you.

I’ve been eating pretty well lately and I’ve lost a little more weight. I’m getting my figure back! I bought a new shirt to celebrate (and it looks damn hot, if I do say so myself) and went out to the bar for a little drinking and socializing. It’s been months since I’ve gotten tipsy and weeks since I’ve gone out with people just to relax. It was a long, stressful week, and I’m more than ready for the weekend. Besides, it’s so nice to finally be meeting people out here. Overall, I ended up having more calories than I probably should have and now I’ve got a bit of a headache that I can’t seem to shake, but it was a good night anyway.

Then, I ended up eating fast food today. I had chicken strips and cheese sticks (holy shit). I’m not too sure what I was thinking, but I guess it could have been worse. The alcohol last night and my fried food breakdown today were the only junk I’ve eaten in 2 weeks, though, so I suppose I should just consider myself lucky that I didn’t binge more than I did. Now, it’s back to business! I’ve made some good progress so far and I want to keep it up.

I have the day off today and I’m rabidly watching the most recent election results. Unfortunately I have to be up for work at 5 tomorrow morning so I won’t be able to watch as much coverage tonight as I’d like to, but I’m sure I won’t get enough sleep tonight as a result. IF YOU HAVEN’T VOTED YET, GET OUT THERE AND DO IT, YOU LAZY FUCKS! Seriously, if you don’t vote, you don’t have any right to bitch if the state of the nation doesn’t go the way you’d like.

I pigged out yesterday (1,600 calories or so) but thankfully it was all healthy food. Buuuut the good news is that I broke through my most recent plateau. So yay me! So far today I’ve had a light yogurt and some shredded wheat, and I’m planning on an apple and tuna for lunch (I know, it’s weird, but I like it straight out of the can). I’ll probably have soup for dinner, but if I can find something with a little less sodium I might have that instead. I’m still retaining water and it’s really irritating.

[Update: I didn’t end up having soup. Nick wanted Chinese food (a vice of mine) but we recently discovered an excellent Chinese restaurant that has a great steamed food menu. I was able to get some steamed chicken and broccoli, so it was probably even better for me than more salt-heavy soup. :)]

I need to spend a little more time browsing this site, I guess, because I can’t seem to figure out how to use the food log. I try browsing for something as simple as “banana” and get a multitude of user entries for banana-flavored this and banana-that. I just want the basic entry for a damn banana, and I don’t want to spend 20 minutes to find it. Most likely, I’m doing something stupid. I’ll try to take a closer look at some point, but I’ve got a lot on my plate at the moment (figuratively) and I simply don’t have the time this evening.

I got up an hour early today because my cellphone/alarm clock didn’t update automatically for daylight savings time. Meh.

My intake was about 800 cals/20 g fat yesterday. Not as high as it should be, even though that little voice in the back of my head still keeps telling me it’s too high (fuck, I’m messed up). Buuuut I had breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner so at least there’s that. I’m at 600 cals/11 g fat so far today (damn tempting salami made my fat intake go up haha), but I’m planning a nice dinner to bring it up to about 1000. I’m also trying to reduce the amount of salt I take in over the next couple of days because I’ve been retaining water like crazy.

Well, I just discovered this site and I thought I’d give it a shot. My name’s Sarah, and I’m a 24-year-old currently living in the Philadelphia area. I’m a born-and-bred Pacific Northwesterner, and moving to the east coast was a bit of an adjustment, but I’m enjoying it.

A little more about me, eh? I was raised in Portland by a single mom. She wasn’t a perfect mother, but she always loved my little brother Brian and I with all her heart, and did everything she could to take care of us. My little brother (who has grown into a very intriguing kid) is turning 18 in just over a week, which makes me feel really old. When I was 12, Brian and I moved in with our grandparents. Long, boring story, and not something I care to share over the internet with a bunch of people who don’t know me.

I have a dark and somewhat eccentric sense of humor. I love to read, but I don’t do it as much as I used to because there aren’t enough hours in my day; I love dystopian novels, plays and many of the classics. Most recently I finised Niel Gaiman’s American Gods (which was a lot of fun) and a Japanese novel called Kafka on the Shore which would have been even more interesting if I knew where to get my hands on any good drugs on this side of the country. Really, the only thing I don’t like reading is pulp, which is somewhat odd considering my lifelong love of comic books, which are essentially the pretty-picture-soap-opera-stepchild of the written world. My comic collection is around 8,000 pieces, many of which I still haven’t had time to read. Yep, I’m that big of a geek. I watch way too much TV; documentaries and (sadly) bad reality TV are my downfalls, but I also really enjoy standup comics and late-night cartoons that are aimed at an adult audience, like the stuff on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim. Oh, and Steven Colbert is my hero. I am very interested in politics and tend to be outspoken about my beliefs, but I am also somewhat reserved around strangers (unless I’m drunk) because I haven’t quite grown out of my “awkard stage”. Give me some time, and I open up to be one of the loudest people you’ll ever know, and it’s up to you to decide if I’m brilliant or just obnoxious.

I graduated from college with honors a couple of years ago, and as of yet I have not put my degree to much use. I’m currently working as a customer service manager at an area grocery store, in part because I don’t have a car and it’s the only place I can get to, and in part because I really do enjoy helping people. Eventually I want to go back to school and get my PhD so I can become a literature professor, because I love talking about books and I have always excelled in academic environments. Honestly, I still really don’t know what I want to do when I “grow up.”

Well, in terms of weight and health goals (which I suppose is the whole point of this site), here’s the breakdown. Many of my relatives are a bit overweight and deal with the associated health problems like diabetes and heart disease. I was always a little heavy growing up, although never to an unhealthy or extreme degree. As a child I was taller than my peers and tended to outweigh them as well. When I was 13 or so I stopped getting any taller and continued to gain weight at a normal rate. By the time I started college I weighed around 165 (which isn’t too bad, really, but it’s a bit unhealthy on a 5′3″ frame), and that was around the time that I began developing a minor eating disorder. It was never anything too extreme (I was never rushed to the hospital or anything, and my weight was never dangerously low), but I did suffer some health problems as a result. My weight went down to around 110 before I was able to go into the recovery process, at which point I was gradually able to start eating more healthily. Over the course of about a year, my weight rose to 130 and stayed that way for a couple of years.

Then, in mid 2007, I left Portland (in my opinion, one of the greatest places on the planet…and not just for the weed) and moved to Boise, Idaho to be with my fiance Nick, who had returned to his home state after graduating college. I left behind a job I adored, a city I knew from top to bottom, and some wonderful friends. My closest friends are Molly, my bestie from all the way back in middle school, with an infectious laugh and a disturbingly fast wit; Audrey, my fellow intelligentsia-nazi-super-bitch; Stephanie, another wild-child-in-recovery who has managed to recover a lot more than I have; Sean, who could smoke pot and read comic books the way a god would; and Stephie, who is so much like me it’s sometimes scary. I still miss them a lot, but I’m glad to be back with Nick. He and I met almost 6 years ago in a physics class. He annoyed me intensely when we first met, but after hanging out at a friend’s drunken beachside birthday party our freshman year, things clicked. He’s a smart guy, something that I’ve always found attractive, and he’s got a great sense of humor. He loves heavy metal, good beer, and sci fi novels (his biggest failing ). He’s always scheming of new ways to to become a millionaire, and he’s very skilled with computers. He also reads voraciously, plays video games like no one else I know, and brews his own beer and mead. Too bad I don’t drink beer. Anyway, we’ve been through our ups and downs, like any couple, but things are good.

Unfortunately, I was essentially homebound in Boise because I don’t own a car, and have never learned to drive for that matter (driving isn’t really necessary in Portland, because the public transportation system is so widespread). I ended up getting a job that I hated simply because I was able to get there. I didn’t know anyone, and without a car, the only people I was able to meet were my coworkers, most of whom were either stupid or far, far too conservative for me to deeply connect with. Even though I was happy to be with Nick again, deep down I was depressed, angry, and (honestly) a little resentful. I clung to the old stereotypical mainstay of bitter housewives and outcast teenagers the world over: emotional eating. I started gaining weight at an alarming rate, and by the end of the year I weighed around 150 pounds.

In early 2008, Nick got a job at a nuclear reactor in the Philadelphia area, and I jumped at the chance to leave Boise. Really, the Idaho capital isn’t all that bad, but I had built up some negative emotions associated with it and I was more than ready for a change. Plus, it was a chance for Nick and I to start entirely fresh in a place that was new for both of us, not just me.

We currently live in a quasi-dumpy apartment which we were forced to choose over the internet, and we’re planning on moving into a new house sometime in early 2009. Our financial situation is no longer dire (although we are still paying the mortgage on our home in Boise, and I still haven’t been paying off my student loans…oopsie). Nick is training to be a volunteer firefighter and planning his return to engineering school, and I’m trying to figure out how I plan on furthering my own education while working to help contribute to the house fund. My job is menial and poorly paying, but I like the people there and it keeps me active. We got a puppy (a hyperactive Pembroke Welsh Corgi who goes by the name of Mighty Thor and hassles our ferrets Edison and Uno without cease), and started talking about when we’re going to have kids (not right away, but probably before we’re 30). Basically, things got a lot better, even if they are far from perfect.

My weight stabilized in Pennsylvania, but I didn’t lose any of it, either. Restaurants here seem to specialize in pizza, hot wings and huge cheesesteak sandwiches; hailing from a fairly health-conscious land of vegetarians and vegans who only eat organic foods, and potheads who only eat fresh fruit and Hot Pockets (yep, that’s me), it was a little rough on my diet. That isn’t to say I don’t love all those fat-laden treats, but they aren’t doing good things to my waistline, either. On October 25th, exactly 20 weeks away from my 25th birthday, I weighed in at 148 pounds. That was a week ago, and I’ve lost 2 pounds so far. The nagging voice in the back of my head tells me I can lose a lot more if I just skip a few days of food, but fuck that. Passing out sucks. First of all, I want to get back down to 130, which was my weight before I left Oregon. Then, I’d like to get back down to my low weight of 110, but I want to do it in a healthier way. I’m not going to push myself to the point of illness just to get the pounds off a little faster. I liked the feeling of my body when I was 110, but I still felt like I had some more to lose, so ultimately I’d like to shoot for 104. That might seem low, but I’m not much over 5 feet tall. I might not go that low, either, but setting extreme goals really helps me motivate myself. Kinda sick, I know.

I’ve been keeping a FitDay journal for the past week. I’m tempted to open up my weightloss MySpace from back in the day, but I’m afraid that doing so will cause me to slip back into my old habits so I haven’t done it yet.

Anyway, it looks like I’ve written a fucking novel. Adios for now.

—Spinelli